Radiant Lit

One impurity in our lives can easily pull us—and the lost people who know us—off course. If we want to be effective in reaching lost people, we must be people of integrity—fixed points of reference that people can follow and find their way to God. I want you to understand that lacking integrity is our problem, not God’s. Like true north, God is a fixed point of reference that never changes and will always be exactly where he’s supposed to be.

People, on the other hand, aren’t always trustworthy. We’re all over the place, so we have to sign contracts, put our right hand on the Bible, pay deposits, and back up our word by saying, “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” (Stick a needle in my eye? Who comes up with this stuff . . . the CIA?)

My friend Gary Mello from Orlando told me a story from his high school days. He worked on a 125-foot scallop boat, the Rodman Swift IV, that sailed out of New Bedford, Massachusetts. Hard and dangerous work, scalloping paid well, and many young men jumped at the chance to fish for scallops in the North Atlantic. The crew worked long hours, rotating shifts and manning every station during all hours of the day and night.

One evening they put out from New Bedford on an eight-hour trip that would take them past Nantucket to the scalloping grounds in the Atlantic. Early in the trip Gary was assigned to the wheelhouse and told not to touch anything but to watch the steering compass and make sure the boat stayed on course. The gyro repeater (a steering compass) had been set to a heading of 280 degrees N, so the ship was set to autopilot to its destination. A gyro repeater steers the ship to the coordinates determined and set by the captain. It’s a complicated system that works extremely well because of the dependability of the magnetic pull of true north. Gary was simply to make sure that the ship didn’t deviate off course.

“No problem,” Gary replied, as he took his seat next to the compass and prepared for a long—and boring—night.

At some point early in the evening, Gary became thirsty, so—knowing he couldn’t leave his post—he hollered to his friend Stoney to bring him a canned soft drink. Gary finished his Coke, set it next to the compass, and returned to intermittent glances at the compass and the nautical maps he had secured to figure out where the boat was heading.

Hours passed, and Gary started to grow concerned because he was sure that he was starting to see land out of the window on the starboard side.

The compass still pointed at 280 degrees N, which would be taking them away from land and far out to sea for an early-morning rendezvous with the fishing ground, so he figured he was mistaken and tried to relax. But something didn’t feel right.

Eventually his concern grew to the point that he felt compelled to leave his post and tell the captain. Into the damp darkness of the captain’s quarters, connected to the wheelhouse, Gary softly whispered, “Cap, I’m not sure we’re heading in the right direction.”

Half asleep, the captain asked if the compass still pointed to 280 degrees N.

“Yes,” Gary replied.

“Then I’m sure we’re fine. You’re probably just seeing ground fog. Don’t worry about it.”

With the captain’s reassurance, Gary made his way back to his post, convinced that if the captain wasn’t worried, then he shouldn’t be either. Several hours passed as the ship steamed toward its early-morning appointment with a multitude of mid-Atlantic scallops. And everything seemed OK until the first light of morning confirmed Gary’s worst nightmare.

Land!

In a panic he interrupted the captain’s slumber one more time. “Captain,”

Gary whispered, “I think I’m seeing land.”

“It’s just ground fog,” the captain muttered.

Convinced that something was amiss, Gary shouted, “No, I’m seeing land!”

“Impossible!” the captain grumbled as he quickly dressed and headed to the wheelhouse, where he verified Gary’s fears. The ship was not heading 280 degrees N, but south down the coast to Long Island, New York!

“Gary, what did you do?”

“Nothing. I just sat here and stared at that compass all night long like you told me to.”

“Did this compass stay on 280 degrees N all night?”

“Yes, sir. And I haven’t left the wheelhouse except to get you.”

The captain reset the compass while he searched for some reason for the deviation. It didn’t take too long to identify the source of the problem. “Gary, is this your can of soda?”

It was.

“The metal in your #@%$#@#$ soda can messed with the magnet in the compass, and it’s caused the whole #@%$#@#$ ship to deviate off course! Do you see what you did?!” the captain shouted.

The can had disrupted the magnetic field around the compass, and the Rodman Swift IV and her crew went eight hours off course. Gary learned an important lesson about compasses, magnets, navigation, and the ability of a scallop-boat captain to invent new curse words when he is extremely angry. He also learned how easily a ship can be pulled off course by something as simple as a soft drink can.

Jesus had integrity. Like true north, his life was a fixed point of reference that others could follow and find their way to God.

The apostle Mark described an encounter between Jesus and some Pharisees and Herodians (Jews who were supporters of Rome), who tried to trap Jesus in his words and find some way to accuse him of being a fraud, a false prophet, or a threat to Judaism. They began by confirming Jesus’ reputation, saying, “Teacher, we know you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance

with the truth” (Mark 12:14).

Understanding the importance of pointing people to God—and his role as the way—Jesus, with hair still damp with the waters of baptism and with the loving words of an approving Father ringing in his ears, followed the Holy Spirit into the desert. For forty days he was tempted by the devil. His mission to find wayward people began with allowing himself to be led away—into the desert—and having his integrity confirmed through testing, testing that was essential to the success of his ministry and the key to his understanding our struggles.

If Jesus had fallen in the desert, there would have been no hope for this fallen world, so it’s a good thing that he did the good thing when tempted. In the desert and throughout his life, Jesus was “tempted in every way, just as we are” (Hebrews 4:15), but he did not sin—an example of both the reality and power of integrity.

I believe that before we can truly help lost people find their way through the desert of temptation and back to the Father, we must, like Jesus, survive our own deserts of temptation—defining moments when we grow into more or shrink into less. Jesus’ ministry to reach lost people began with a defining moment in the wilderness when he had to choose (three times, actually) between right and wrong. Would he give in to temptation, become just another sinner, and hinder his ministry; or would he do the right thing? He chose to do the right thing.

Unlike Jesus, we are not perfect. We all sin, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be people of integrity. In the end, for people who aren’t going to die on a cross for the sins of the world, a life of integrity is not defined by a moment of weakness. We are going to make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be used by God to make a difference, if we’ll only learn from our mistakes and refuse to let them pull our lives off course and away from integrity.

Living a life of integrity is essential if we want to have a truly effective ministry. You can have integrity without a ministry, but you can’t have a ministry without integrity.

This is why God required the high priest, under the old covenant, on the Day of Atonement, to clean himself before entering God’s presence. The high priest was to bathe before putting on the sacred garments (Leviticus 16:4) and to deal with his own sins before dealing with the sins of the people. Before he shed one drop of animal blood to atone for someone else’s sin, the high priest had to shed the blood of a bull for his own sin and the sin of his household (vv. 6, 11).

God required that the high priest make his first ministry to himself and his household, because if that ministry failed, no one would care to hear what he had to say about God. The priest was God’s representative to the people, so it was essential for him to be godly and to have integrity.

This is why God led Jesus, our high priest (Hebrews 4:14), from the waters of baptism into the wilderness to prove his integrity.

This is why God wants us, his priests (1 Peter 2:5, 9; Revelation 1:6; 5:10), to be people of integrity before we begin our ministry to lost people.

It’s the purpose behind the whole log-in-the-eye story that Jesus told on that mountain near Capernaum. Trying to teach us the importance of dealing with our own integrity issues before attempting to help others with theirs, Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? . . . You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Luke 6:41, 42).

What a hilarious picture!

What important truths for each of us to remember before we eat the first morsel of food with a lost person!

First, Jesus does want us to get specks out of other people’s eyes. Don’t miss that point.

Second—which really comes first—before we attempt to get specks out of other people’s eyes, we must first take the planks out of our own eyes. Pretty humbling. But Jesus wants our ministries to be characterized by integrity, not hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is cancerous to evangelism, rendering Jesus a joke and his message a punch line in the hearts and minds of lost people.

Integrity Produces Authenticity, Not Hypocrisy

One of my favorite Hans Christian Andersen fables describes the life of an emperor who was arguably the most famous hypocrite of all time.

The emperor loved new clothes. One day two swindlers came to his city. They made people believe they were weavers who could manufacture the finest cloth to be imagined—but that the quality of the clothes was so high, the clothes would be invisible to anyone who was not very discerning or was unpardonably stupid. These charlatans worked hard but made nothing. Nonetheless, when the emperor was shown his “new outfit,” he acted impressed even though he saw nothing, and he agreed to wear the outfit in a parade through his kingdom.

As the emperor marched through the streets, everyone who saw him cried out, “Indeed, the emperor’s new suit is incomparable! What a wonderful suit!” The people didn’t want others to know they saw nothing. The universal praise continued until the emperor passed by a little child who cried out, “The emperor’s not wearing any clothes!” At this, everyone in the kingdom acknowledged the same fact and joined the child in proclaiming, “The emperor’s not wearing any clothes!” The charade was over.

Our charade must end too.

Just as sure as that delusional emperor was buck naked and needed to admit it, you and I are sinners who need to get authentic and admit both our tendency to sin and our need of salvation. We’re all sinners who fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Let’s be authentic and admit it.

Integrity Produces Courage, Not Fear

Integrity doesn’t just manifest itself in authenticity; it also manifests itself in courage.

Telemachus, a fifth-century monk, was a man of integrity who faced his fears and in so doing saved lives and pointed lost people to God. The story is told of how Telemachus followed the crowds to the Coliseum in Rome and watched sadly as two gladiators fought to the death. Telemachus tried to get between them, shouting, “In the name of Christ, stop!” Enraged that this man was interrupting their entertainment, the crowd stoned Telemachus. When the people came to their senses and saw the monk lying dead in a pool of blood, they fell silent and left the stadium. According to tradition, because of Telemachus’s death, three days later the emperor ended the practice of gladiators fighting to the death.3

“The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1). Telemachus was as bold as a lion, and we should be too.

To reach this world with the saving message of Jesus Christ, we’re going to have to be courageous, and we will be . . . if we are also righteous.

Sin makes cowards of us all.

A father who smoked pot in college may be afraid to tell his son to say no to drugs.

A mother who slept with other men before marriage may feel intimidated about trying to persuade her eighteen-year-old daughter to save herself for marriage.

The pastor who struggles with an addiction to pornography may find it impossible to preach against the very monster that privately stalks him late at night while his family sleeps upstairs.

Private sin is an evil warden that Satan employs to keep us locked up, silent, and hopeless in a dungeon that reeks with fear. But private sin is also an illusion. We can’t fool God.

God searches our hearts (1 Chronicles 28:9; Psalm 7:9; Romans 8:27; Revelation 2:23) and knows the sins we struggle with. He stands ready to “forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). His forgiveness, and his forgiveness alone, makes us righteous—people with integrity who should be courageous in the face of sin…and sinners.

Integrity Produces Faithfulness, Not Perfection

Men and women with integrity are unstoppable.

You can be unstoppable.

When Nehemiah needed someone to make sure the gates in the newly rebuilt walls around Jerusalem were not opened until the right time, he called on a man named Hananiah, “because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most men do” (Nehemiah 7:2).

When Satan wanted a man to prove human frailty, God offered him a man of integrity who would be faithful to the end, saying, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil” (Job 2:3).

These men were faithful—not perfect.

Think about King David, the man who slept with a woman who was not his wife (Bathsheba) and then had her husband killed in battle. The apostle Paul reminds us of what God thought about David: “I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart” (Acts 13:22). God said this not because David was perfect, but because David was faithful (Hebrews 11:32, 33). Yes, David was a sinner, but he didn’t allow himself to be defined by sin but by faithfulness. He was a man who—when confronted about his sin by the prophet Nathan—admitted he was a sinner (2 Samuel 12:13) and took significant steps to mend his character.

David’s life was not defined by a moment of weakness.

God told Solomon, David’s son, to follow his dad’s example: “If you walk before me in integrity of heart and uprightness, as David your father did, . . . I will establish your royal throne over Israel forever” (1 Kings 9:4, 5). God wanted Solomon to look at his father’s life as a point of reference. Not because David was perfect, but because he was faithful. And David was faithful because he had integrity. God wants us to be people of integrity.

Meal Prep • Walking with Integrity

1. Personal Devotions: Get your Bible, find a quiet place, and start reading the book of Luke. After reading for a while, stop and spend some time in prayer. Ask God to help you identify the areas in your life that are not as pure as they should be.

2. Find an Accountability Partner: I meet with other Christians every week for the sole purpose of ensuring that I’m growing in my faith and living the kind of life I should be living. Find a Christian—of the same gender—with whom you can meet on a regular basis and by whom you can be held accountable for living a life of integrity.

3. Church Attendance: Are you regularly meeting with a local church? If not, it’s time to get involved with one. This will put you in fellowship with other Christians and in a place where you will be exposed to biblical teaching—both of which will help you to live a life of integrity.

Why does God call us to be people of integrity? First, for our own good. And second, he doesn’t want our lives to pull off course the lives of the lost people who are following us.

Delmar, one of the elders at the church where I serve, is a man of integrity.

Delmar leads a Saturday morning Bible study at a local bar called The Fort. This gives him the opportunity to reach people with the gospel in a place where they feel comfortable. He reaches people for Jesus because his life is a fixed point that the people at The Fort can follow straight to Jesus.

Those people at The Fort don’t realize it, but they need Delmar to be a man of integrity. They need us to be people of integrity . . . fixed points of reference they can follow to find themselves . . . not lost, not heading south to Long Island . . . not even heading 280 degrees N, but heading back to where they were supposed to be all the time.

For Personal Study and Reflection: In the space below write the name of a Christian you think is a person of integrity. List three adjectives that describe this person and prove he or she is a person of integrity.

For Group Study and Discussion: Ask your group members to each bring a photo of someone they believe to be a person of integrity. As the group time begins, have people show their photos and tell why they believe the person in the photo has integrity.

1. Who first introduced you to Jesus Christ? Describe what happened.

2. As you reflect on your conversion and how God used this person to introduce you to Jesus, which of the following had the biggest impact: what the person said to you, how the person lived, or some other factor?

3. Describe a time when God gave you a chance to share your faith. What were your three biggest concerns during this evangelistic experience? Read Luke 4:1-13. In this passage Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness for forty days to be tempted by the devil. Satan wanted Jesus to lose his way in the wilderness, but Jesus withstood the test and became “the way” (John 14:6) for us.

4. Jesus was hungry, and then Satan tempted him to turn some stones into bread (Luke 4:3). What does this teach us about Satan? What can we do to prepare ourselves for attacks like this?

5. Satan showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world and then offered them all to Jesus (v. 6). Understanding that Satan doesn’t own anything, what does this temptation teach us about him?

6. The devil quoted Scripture to Jesus. What does this reveal about Satan? What is one thing you can do this week to learn more Scripture?

7. Jesus rebutted Satan’s attacks by quoting Scripture (vv. 4, 8, 12). What can we learn from this example about the power of God’s Word to help when we are being attacked by the devil?

8. What would have happened to Jesus’ ministry if he had given in to any of these three temptations?

9. We are all sinners (Romans 3:23) who will, at one time or another, experience a moral failure of some type. How does a moral failure that has not been dealt with impact our efforts to share our faith with lost friends? On the other hand, how does a moral failure that has been dealt with help us as we share our faith?

10. What did this time of testing reveal about Jesus’ character? How did this time of testing prepare him for his ministry to lost people? How have your times of spiritual testing prepared you to be a better evangelist?

SPIRITUALWARFARE, PRAYER, AND PROCLAMATION

Finally, my brethren . . . (Ephesians 6:10-20)

The New Testament church was birthed and commissioned to make disciples to the very ends of the earth. As soon as they began to fulfill this Great Commission, believers began to encounter spiritual warfare. Consider the following examples:

• Acts 5—Satan attacked the church from within through the prominent family of Ananias and

Sapphira.

• Acts 8—God was moved to separate, through heavy persecution, the church in Jerusalem from its Jewish comfort zone.

• Acts 13—Satan’s representative was humiliated, defeated, and blinded through the ministry of Paul.

• Acts 16—Warfare was fought over the demonized slave girl of Philippi.

• Acts 19—Warfare was waged between the Spirit of God and the evil spirits associated with some Jewish exorcists in Ephesus.

Nor did these encounters with evil end in Acts. Consider what else Paul wrote concerning spiritual warfare:

• 1 Corinthians 9:26-27—Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

• 2 Corinthians 10:3-5—For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

• 1 Thessalonians 5:8—But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, as a helmet the hope of salvation.

• 1 Timothy 1:18—This charge I commit to you, son Timothy, according to the prophecies previously made concerning you, that by them you may wage the good warfare . . .

• 1 Timothy 6:12—Fight the good fight of faith . . .

• 2 Timothy 2:3-4—You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.

• 2 Timothy 4:7—I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

These comments are from Paul, who, other than Jesus, is generally considered the most spirit-filled person in the New Testament. If he was so filled, why do so many passages on warfare appear? Here is the reality of his day—and ours: The greater the filling of the spirit, the more involvement in the mission of God; the more God’s mission expands, the greater the warfare. Besides Paul’s writings, other New Testament writers wrote of spiritual warfare:

• James 4:7: Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

• 1 Peter 5:8-9: Be sober, be vigilant: because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.

• Revelation 12:7-11: And war broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer. So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast out with him. Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.”

All of this reflected the earlier teaching of Jesus recorded in Luke 14:31-33:

“Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be my disciple.”

So, in what may well have been meant to be a summary statement, toward the end of his life, Paul wrote, Finally, my brethren . . . and proceeded to prioritize the spiritual preparation for prayer and proclamation.

TODAY’S WAR NEWS FROM THE BATTLEFIELDS

My childhood years were lived during the Korean conflict. Every Saturday morning several hundred of my friends and I would pay our nine cents and crowd into the nearby theater to watch a morning full of cartoons, cowboy movies, and to-be-continued serial thrillers. Somewhere in every Saturday morning’s offerings was a feature called, “Today’s News from the Battlefields.” Since the news was from Korea and few of us knew where that was, we had little interest. We used this time for a bathroom or refreshment break.

While yesterday’s battle news was from faraway places and seemed of little interest to 10-year olds on Saturday mornings, today’s battle news is closer and of much greater interest. Curtis Vaughan wrote, “It is a great mistake to think that in the happy hour of our conversion all trouble and strife cease. In reality, that hour marks the beginning of a lifelong warfare—not a war for our salvation, to be sure, but a war in Christian service.”1.

Like Paul we are called to be ambassadors—those who represent a King in another Kingdom. The kingdom of this world is not yet the kingdom of our God. Satan is called the ruler of this world (John 12:31). As we represent our God in this earthly kingdom, we encounter Satan. While I worked on this book, I sent emails to several friends and former students presently serving in cross-cultural settings. I asked them whether in recent days they had experienced any evidences of spiritual warfare.

From a missionary friend in Mexico I received the story of a spiritual conflict. The missionary wrote: We have encountered many conflicts in the spirit over the years. It does not fail when we are moving furiously in the Lord, also automatically a close friend will turn on us and speak evil or unkindly. It sets us back, but we realize that it is Satan attacking us. We get on our knees and cry out to God to protect us and help us to love this one whom Satan is using to deter the work.

From Nigeria we learned of a Christian educator whose home was burned in an apparent attempt to kill him. While students from another world religion claimed to be the instigators of the fire, it was clearly interpreted as an attack originating in the mind of Satan.

From Haiti we learned that a witch doctor was giving missionaries much trouble and hindering the advance of the gospel. Even though she sent her children to the Christian school, the witch doctor admitted that she loved her demonic powers more than she loved God.

From Kazakhstan we learned of another witch doctor placing demonic curses on anyone—usually a Christian—who would not give her money. Every time a Christian would get near her home, she would yell at the person to leave. After many attempts by a local pastor to share, she finally listened to the gospel, trusted, and changed Masters.

From a former student who now is a missionary in Brazil we learned of a demon-possessed woman who continually disrupted open-air evangelistic meetings. After intense prayer, she ceased to be disruptive. She was neither on drugs nor alcohol, nor was she mentally ill. Often she acted normal. Other times she seemed to be possessed.

From Taiwan we learned from a missionary who often felt that an evil spirit was in the room at night while she was attempting to sleep. She wrote, “I felt the hate and evil so much I thought I was going to die. All I could do was appeal to Jesus. Every time I did so, the evil spirit left immediately.”

From a church planter in Canada we learned of a woman believed by many to be demon-possessed. Since she was married to a church member, she often attended church functions. Once during a Bible study she appeared in all black. After a few moments she left. The church planter said a sudden gloom seemed to be over the group. Since her presence had caused him to lose his place in this notes, he looked again at his Bible. All he saw was a blank page. After a momentary setback he called on someone else to read. As the person read, the print reappeared in his Bible.

While serving as interim pastor in a Houston church I personally experienced a disruption during a Sunday morning sermon. As I was concluding my sermon, two young men stood in the middle of the center section about half of the way back. Each was dressed in black. Turning their backs on each other, they walked toward the aisles on either side of their section and climbed over people as they went. When they reached the two aisles, they started toward the front of the worship center and marched in military style. Arriving at the first row simultaneously, they turned and walked toward me and then abruptly clicked the heels of their black boots and turned away. They departed the worship center through side doors. Later, as the invitation time ended and people were seated, these two young men returned to the worship center through the same side doors and repeated their steps, complete with the clicking of their heels, until they were seated again in their original seats. I discovered they were devil worshipers and had been visiting some of the youth activities. They had been observed prayerwalking (to Satan, obviously) the church facilities. Their purpose was to disrupt activities and divert the focus of those present.

Did you notice the presence of prayer and proclamation in these reports?

As reports of these incidents intensify, Ephesians 6:10-20 will help us to be better prepared for these attacks. Half of Ephesians is about grace; half is about relationships. This passage on warfare follows a teaching on the family—one of Satan’s primary targets. Spiritual warfare is not about our salvation.

We are not fighting to be saved or to inherit heaven. Spiritual warfare is about service and ministry, prayer and proclamation. Therefore, we must give attention to our preparation. Earlier in this letter Paul discussed the wonderful privileges and blessings of the one who follows Jesus. He wrote about his own calling and fellowship with other believers. He wrote about relationships—husbands and wives, parents and children, servants and masters. All of these involve degrees of difficulty. If such relationships are done well, they invite serious opposition. Thus Paul closes this letter with a discussion of spiritual warfare.

AN ONGOING PERSONAL BATTLE

Before we go further, a brief personal parenthesis may be helpful. I arrive at this subject of spiritual warfare out of an experience that began at the age of 15. As an active high-school athlete and hyperactive church youth-group member, I was on my way to a church-sponsored youth activity when the car in which I rode was hit by a speeding driver who was heavily under the influence of alcohol. My neck was broken at the second vertebra. I spent the next nine months in a hospital bed engaged in among other things, learning how to pray. Little did I know that was only a prelude to later mission—and to spiritual warfare.

Out of that experience I understood God’s call on my life to vocational ministry—to be on mission with a divine purpose, a purpose that would weigh heavily in the areas of prayer and proclamation. Also out of that experience was laid a foundation for understanding and withstanding later spiritual warfare.

In the midst of the 1999 shooting crisis at Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, TX—my home church—I experienced an amazing revelation. I had been commissioned by the church to write a book on the shooting and its aftermath.2 As I was interviewing other people who were present the night of the shooting, I became aware of two things:

• Many of those present described the scene as one of spiritual attack. Some used the term spiritual warfare. After more than 100 interviews I concluded they were correct. Whatever else happened that night, spiritual warfare was occurring.

• Many others who were present seemed to be in denial of the tragic events. One of the counselors explained why people were having such a tough time accepting the facts. He said the human mind is like a computer. When you ask your office computer to search for a file, it hums and hums. If it finds no file, it tells you so. When we asked our minds to compute a violent shooting in our church, during which seven precious lives were taken and hundreds were traumatized, no file existed for it. So our minds just hummed and hummed and kept rejecting our request for understanding.

With this analogy I realized that my broken-neck experience at age 15 had prepared a file in my mind that would later help me understand some of the later crises I encountered. These included the shooting at our church and many other additional crises.

Allow me to describe some of the others. On a prayer journey to the former Soviet Union I was on a Russian-built Aeroflot airliner that lost power at 30,000 feet in the air. While the problem was mechanical and was corrected in a matter of a few seconds, I felt as if Satan were using the experience to gently remind me that I was on his turf.

The next experience occurred on a trip to West Africa to speak on the subject of prayer at the missionary meetings in the Gambia and Burkina Faso. Ten days before I departed, I was at the 18th hole of the Colonial Golf Tournament in Fort Worth. Seated four rows up, I jumped off the side of the bleachers. My foot caught in the metal construction; this caused me to fall head-first to the concrete below. Extending my right hand to break the fall, I sustained a broken and dislocated right shoulder, a torn rotator cuff, and nerve damage in my right arm as well as facial cuts. I received permission to make the trip to West Africa only because my doctor had no idea what riding on African roads in a Mitsubishi pickup with no shock absorbers would be like. But I made it with my right arm in a sling. You might say that trip was made on a sling and a prayer. Did Satan cause me to fall off the bleachers? I don’t know, but if not, I do know he got involved shortly thereafter.

I was on a return trip from Senegal, West Africa, having spoken on prayer to a group of missionaries, and became so ill I had to sit on the back seat of the airplane. I sat near the restroom for the 10-hour flight back to Texas. Need I say more? I felt as though Satan was saying, “You tried to encourage people who are working in my territory. I’ll get even with you.”

I took eight student-preachers to Guatemala to preach in evangelistic crusades as a part of the 50th anniversary of Southern Baptist work in that country. On the night before my return flight to the U.S. I became very ill. I wasn’t sure I could even make the flight back. I was sick throughout the flight and the remainder of the day. I lost 11 pounds in 24 hours and was almost dehydrated. Again, I felt as though Satan was paying me back for facilitating evangelistic ministry in a place in which he was strong.

During a major prayer journey to China, India, and the Islamic world, toward the end of the three-week trip I developed stomach problems. Satan? Possibly.

Before the first half of a six-month sabbatical leave to China I was discovered to have a rare form of skin cancer—morphia basil cell carcinoma—which required four surgeries in 36 days. These were completed within days of my departure for Hong Kong. In fact, a few days before my departure, while I was leading a prayer conference in a Nashville, TN, church, a local doctor removed the final stitches from my nose. Was this Satan trying to block a ministry that not only would encourage missionaries in China but would result in a prayer-walking orientation manual that would be translated into many languages and used in many parts of the world? Probably so.

During a prayer journey to Japan I began to suffer from what was later diagnosed as degenerative disk problems in my lower back. Satan loves to get involved in back problems.

During a prayer journey to Macau I experienced debilitating swelling in a joint of my left foot. Fortunately, a missionary pharmacist was able to provide me with some anti-inflammatory medication. Was Satan trying to divert my focus from ministry? I think so.

During a prayer journey to Costa Rica I experienced pain in my neck and left shoulder. On return to Fort Worth the problem was diagnosed as a degenerative disk problem in my neck. Satan really can be a pain in the neck!

During a prayer journey to Hong Kong I experienced dizzy spells in the intense heat and high humidity. Was this Satan using the weather conditions to discourage me? Maybe.

During a six-month sabbatical leave to Germany, on which I was teaching prayer and discipleship in a seminary, I incurred a hernia, had floaters and flashes in my right eye (initially thought to be a detached or torn retina), and observed a recurrence of what was feared to be the earlier skin cancer. Satan? Likely.

Less than two weeks before departure for Kosovo I injured my lower back. The next 10 days included an emergency-room visit, a doctor’s-office call, a steroid shot, and various drugs. In spite of this the doctor recommended that I not make the trip because of the back-to-back flight segments of several hours’ duration and the condition of the roads in Kosovo. The missionaries concurred that this was the best decision. Did Satan use a back problem to block this trip? I believe he did.

Three weeks before we were to leave on a trip to Italy to lead conferences on prayer and spiritual conflict, my wife was admitted to the hospital with symptoms of a heart attack. After several tests the problem was diagnosed as acid reflux, but in the process she became dehydrated and suffered an internal infection. The timing was such that we wondered whether Satan was using the episode to discourage the trip to Italy.

While I cannot prove beyond a doubt that Satan was involved in any of these circumstances, I do know that while I was attempting as a faithful disciple to be on mission for God, I experienced the kinds of attacks Satan excels in—diverting attention, distorting focus, weakening witness. In every case the ministry assignment continued, either with me or without me. The one personal cancellation was only because of doctors’ orders and then only after a brief but intense argument on my part.

Charles Kettering was an inventor of the electric cash register, electric auto ignition, spark plugs, freon, leaded gasoline, safety glass, four-wheel brakes, and automatic transmission. At his death he was a holder or co-holder of more than 140 patents. On an occasion Kettering said, “No one would ever have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in a storm.”

We must never let Satan think he can stop us in our intercessory prayer for the proclamation of the gospel, even when the storms grow intense.

What to Do When Spiritual Warfare Threatens Prayer and Proclamation

1. Acknowledge that the conflict is real and that you are personally involved in it.

2. Recognize personal battles in your life and seek to correct them.

3. Determine to never forsake your commitment to follow God’s leadership in your life regardless of Satan’s attempts to influence you otherwise.

Questions for Reflection and/or Discussion

1. What evidences do you find that inform you that you or friends you know are personally involved in spiritual warfare?

2. What personal battles do you discern in your life or in the lives of friends?

3. What can you determine to do ahead of time so you will be able to stand against Satan’s attacks?

1Curtis Vaughan, Ephesians in the Bible Study Commentary. Grand Rapids:

Zondervan Publishing House, 1977, 125.

2Dan R. Crawford, Night of Tragedy Dawning of Light. Colorado Springs: Shaw

Books, 2000.

Suburb of Columbus, Ohio

“Hey, Gabby, what are you doing?”

Even after all their years together, the sound of her husband’s voice could still make Gabrielle Phillips’s heart skip a beat. She pressed the cell phone closer to her ear. It had been such a long week without Tom at home. “I’m running into Hirscham’s to pick up a shirt for Dad’s birthday.”

“Running? You’re running?”

His overly cautious tone brought a smile to her face. “Not running, silly, although I could run, you know. I’m walking briskly. Hurrying. I have to be back at church by 1:30 for a meeting with the other directors.”

“Is everything . . . ?” His hesitancy to finish the sentence told her everything he feared. How many times had he asked the same question only to hear the worst? No wonder Tom could barely ask anymore. Only fools got too close to a fire after getting burned time and again.

But at least today she had good news.

“Everything is fine. Absolutely fine. Wonderful. Really.” Closing her eyes, Gabby whispered her thanks to God. Tom’s audible sigh and then silence made her think he might be doing the same. “Except for . . . I miss you terribly.”

“Yeah?”

“When does your flight get in? Soon, I hope. It’s supposed to storm today.”

Dressing for work this morning, she’d seen the weather report on the small television sitting on top of the dresser in their bedroom. The meteorologist hadn’t just predicted rain; he’d more like ranted about it, threatening a downpour, pointing to patches of colors ranging from alarming yellow to raging red on his Doppler 10 radar screen.

“My plane gets in around five. But I looked online. I don’t think the rain’s supposed to start till later tonight.”

“Oh? Well, good.” That concern dismissed, she thought ahead. “Pizza for dinner?”

“Should you eat pizza?”

Smiling, she rolled her eyes though no one was nearby to notice. “How about half-veggie, half-pepperoni?”

“Perfect. Just like you. Love you, Gabby.”

“I know.”

Somehow through all the pain and drama and disappointments over the years of their marriage, they had survived, shakily at times, but together just the same. And now they’d been rewarded.

So rewarded! She let out a contented sigh.

As her boots scuffed against the dry parking lot pavement, Gabby had to admit she must’ve heard the weatherman wrong. At the moment, nearly white clouds with only hints of gray streaked a blue-brushed sky, looking far too benevolent for any monstrous storm to crackle through the heavens anytime soon.

But Gabby still felt glad she’d decided not to take any chances before she’d left home this morning. No way she wanted to risk slipping and falling on a rain-slicked floor. Not with their baby growing inside her—the baby she and Tom had waited for for so long. So painfully long.

Instead, she’d tossed her black ballet flats back into the closet she shared with her husband, opting for ragged but sure-footed snow boots from the garage. Not so attractive, but luckily she worked at a historic stone church and not in some glossy corporate tower. Everyone at work dressed neatly but casually. No one at Graceview cared as much about her fashion statements as they did about her dedication as head of the church’s children’s ministries.

When Gabby reached Hirscham’s entrance, she held open the door for a young mom struggling to push a baby stroller while tugging on the hand of a squirming toddler.

Not exactly an idyllic Norman Rockwell scene, but still Gabby could feel the jealousy. Rearing. Scratching. Trying to catch hold. Wanting to seep in and creep through her like a heart-strangling vine.

But it couldn’t control her anymore. These days she refused to let it. Now hope wasn’t just some fuzzy mirage in the distance. It had become more of a reality. On days when the green monster reared, she could more easily shoo it away with a genuine smile, not a false one. With positive thoughts, not negative ones. And by counting blessings, not subtracting them.

Heading for the men’s department, Gabby already knew exactly what to get her father. Her mother had been explicit about the size, brand, and color of shirt Gabby’s dad would like from her and Tom. Even though Gabby thought a shirt sounded less than exciting, she and Tom couldn’t afford much more than a shirt anyway. Tom’s new job with a national nonprofit organization had been a step up, but they still didn’t have a lot of disposable income, especially not with all the medical bills from the past—or the present.

Besides, next year would be different. By the time her father’s birthday rolled around again, she’d already have given him a special gift. A precious one.

Something money just can’t buy!

The salesperson couldn’t have been more efficient, and package in hand, Gabby glanced at her watch. She could slow down a bit. She still had ten minutes to kill before she had to head back to Graceview.

Strolling through the store, she took in the new spring fashions. It looked as if pink might be a big color again this season. But the women’s clothes held little interest for her, so she meandered over to the baby department and stood at the edge, looking in. Did she really want to venture into that sea of heart-tugging adorability?

Then a sleeper caught her eye. A pale yellow sleeper, almost the color of the underside of a lemon peel, with the cutest fuzzy lamb embroidered on the chest. Even from a distance it tempted her, seeming to promise a high cuddle factor.

Could the sleeper really be as soft as it looked?

Inching her way over, Gabby tried not to notice the endless racks and shelves of pastels, the cotton candy pinks and hushed baby blues of the infant clothes, the girlie lavenders and boy-bold navies of the toddler outfits. Instead, keeping her eyes focused on the sleeper, she made a straight path. She just wanted to touch it and feel its softness. That was all.

She took the foot of the sleeper in her hand and rubbed it between her fingers. Exquisite. Addicting. As soft as a downy feather but not feathery at all, of course. Holding it up to her cheek, she could almost imagine she smelled the unmistakable scent of baby powder. Could almost swear she felt the weight of a tiny foot wrapped in the velvety fabric.

“Soft, isn’t it?” A salesperson appeared out of nowhere and smiled at her knowingly.

Gabby attempted to let the fabric drop from her fingers, but she couldn’t let go. “Unbelievable.”

“And they’re on sale.”

Glancing at the price tag without really seeing it, Gabby tilted her head, pretending to do a mental calculation. But really her decision—or rather indecision—had nothing to do with money. Not this time.

As she clasped the material tighter and tighter in her fingers, she already knew there’d be an aching sadness that would spread to her limbs and then, without a doubt, find her heart if she let the fabric slip from her hand. Oh, how she didn’t want to let go.

But should she? Should she really buy it?

But then . . .

It had been ten weeks. She’d almost made it through the entire first trimester. She had never, ever, carried a baby that long before. Not in all the eight years since she and Tom had tried to conceive.

Even though everything indicated the in vitro fertilization had worked, even though her belly had the slightest protrusion and her breasts felt more tender than usual, still, after so many years, so many tests, failures, and tears, it seemed too hard to believe, too good to be true.

But Gabby couldn’t go on thinking that way. This baby—their baby—was real.

The thought made her tremble with a thrilling excitement that lifted her heart sky-high.

Until the other tremors came too, clutching at her throat, bringing fear and trepidation. Sadness of remembered losses. Feelings so easy to give in to, such a familiar place to be.

Her baby couldn’t thrive in shadows and fear. A protective feeling, stronger than anything she’d ever felt before, surged through her. She needed to shove those feelings away. Her baby needed light and love. Positive thoughts and prayers. Nourishment. Gentleness. And softness.

“I-I want it,” Gabby stammered. “I want it,” she repeated, taking the sleeper, handing it to the salesperson. “I’m going to get it.”

But as she watched the salesperson wrap her precious purchase in white tissue paper, horrible thoughts struck again. What was she doing? Something wrong? Something that might possibly jinx their baby?

No, she wouldn’t let herself believe it. After all, she’d bought baby clothes ahead of time for friends before. And had anything awful ever happened to their babies?

Besides, if she’d learned anything through the trials she and Tom had endured together, it had been that there were no signs. No spells. No talismans. No right words to chant. No fairy godmother’s wand. Nothing that could create a baby.

Nothing beyond the ability of her body . . . and God’s gracious will. Every minute of every day, Gabby prayed they were one and the same.