Review: How to Reach Your Full Potential for God: Never Settle for Less Than His Best by Dr. Charles Stanley

Non-Fiction, Reviews No Comments

When I ordered this book, I was a little afraid that it would be another book full of “fluff.” However, I’ve found it to be well-written, insightful and full of thought-provoking content. Dr. Stanley digs right in and gets to the heart of the issue – getting beyond ourselves so that we can truly serve God.

There’s no “fluff” in this book. In fact, I found that I needed to read one chapter at a time and then take a day or two to really look within myself and answer the tough questions that Dr. Stanley poses. “How to Reach Your Full Potential For God” helped me see some areas of my life that need a “spring cleaning.”

Read the rest…

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Review: The Lightkeeper’s Daughter by Colleen Coble

Historical, Reviews, Romance, Suspense/Mystery No Comments

Author Colleen Coble is best known for her romantic suspense novels such as Cry In The Night and Without A Trace. However, her new historical romance novel shows that she can write well in any genre she chooses.

The Lightkeeper’s Daughter offers a little bit of everything that I love in a book – a little history, a little romance, and – true to her past writing – a little mystery. The book finds the main character, Addie Sullivan, headed to her new position as governess at Eaton Hall. Here she hopes to find not only a new life, but the truth of her past as well.

I was drawn into this book and couldn’t put it down. Can’t wait for more like this from Colleen Coble!

Review By:
Jill Hart

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Review: The Country House Courtship by Linore Rose Burkard

Historical, Reviews No Comments

I adore Jane Austen, so imagine my delight when I found Linore Rose Burkard’s Inspirational Romance for the Jane Austen Soul! Finally – Regency England era fiction written from a Christian perspective. I had HIGH hopes for her novels. Burkard didn’t let me down and I’m now one of her biggest fans!

Burkard’s newest novel, The Country House Courtship, is the third in her Regency inspirational romance series. This book centers around Miss Beatrice Forsythe (the younger sister found in the first two books of this series) as she struggles between what her heart wants and what her head is telling her to do. Beatrice knows that she wants a life of material comforts and now that her sister has married well she has the connections in society that are necessary to make a profitable match. However, when she encounters a kind curate from her past she begins to wonder if material comfort is enough to make a good marriage. Read the rest…

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Review- Duets: Still in the Word … Still in the Mood by Anita and John Renfroe

Inspirational, Reviews No Comments

If you’ve ever seen Anita Renfroe’s comedy act in person, then you can well imagine how her hilarious personality chines through in this fun devotional. Part serious and part comical, each daily reading gives couples a look at the Bible from a couples/marriage perspective. Each day provides inspiration for conversation ideas between husbands and wives to get them talking – and listening – to one another. Written as a follow up to Songs in the Key of Solomon, Duets is a continuation of the heart-changing hilarity that Renfroe is known for. Read the rest…

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The Courteous Cad by Catherine Palmer

Chick-lit, Reviews, Romance No Comments

I love just about everything by Catherine Palmer, but The Courteous Cad (along with her other book in the Miss Pickworth series, The Affectionate Adversary) is definitely one of my favorites. The characters are charming and Palmer knows just how to draw a reader in and keep them engaged in the story. If you love Regency England tales, you’ll love this novel.

~ Jill Hart

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Otley, Yorkshire

1817

“I shall never marry,” Prudence Watson declared to her sister as they crossed a busy Yorkshire street. “Men are cads, all of them. They toy with our hearts. Then they brush us aside as if we were no more than a crumb of cake at teatime. A passing fancy. A sweet morsel enjoyed for a moment and soon forgotten.”

“Enough, Prudence,” her sister pleaded. “You make me quite hungry, and you know we are late to tea.”

“Hungry?” A glance revealed the twitch of mirth on Mary’s lips. Prudence frowned. “You think me silly.”

“Dearest Pru, you are silly.” Mary raised her wool collar against the cold, misty drizzle. “One look at you announces it to all the world. You’re far too curly-haired, pink-cheeked, and blue-eyed to be taken seriously.”

“I cannot help my cheeks and curls, nor have they anything to do with my resolve to remain unmarried.”

“But they have everything to do with the throng of eligible men clamoring to fill your dance card at every ball. Your suitors send flowers and ask you to walk in the gardens. On the days you take callers, they stand elbow to elbow in the foyer. It is really too much. Surely one of them must be rewarded with your hand.”

“No,” Prudence vowed. “I shall not marry. I intend to follow the example of my friend Betsy.”

“Elizabeth Fry is long wed and the mother of too many children to count.”

“But she obeys a calling far higher than matrimony.”

“Rushing in and out of prisons with blankets and porridge? Is that your friend’s high calling?”

“Indeed it is, Mary. Betsy is a crusader. With God’s help, she intends to better the lives of the poor women in Newgate.”

“Better the lives of soiled doves, pickpockets, and tavern maids?” Mary scoffed. “I should like to see that.”

“And so you will, for I have no doubt of Betsy’s success. I shall succeed, too, when God reveals my mission. I mean to be an advocate for the downtrodden. I shall champion those less fortunate than I.”

“You are hardly fortunate yourself, Pru. You would do better to marry a rich man and redeem the world by bringing up moral, godly, well-behaved children.”

“Do not continue to press me on that issue, Mary, I beg you. My mind is set. I have loved and lost. I cannot bear another agony so great.”

“Do you refer to that man more than twice your age? the Tiverton blacksmith? Mr. . . . Mr. Walker?”

Prudence tried to ignore the disdain in Mary’s voice. They were nearing the inn at which they had taken lodging in the town of Otley. Their eldest sister, Sarah, had prescribed a tour of the north country, declaring Yorkshire’s wild beauty the perfect antidote to downtrodden spirits. Thus far, Prudence reflected, the journey had not achieved its aim.

Now, Mary had raised again the subject of great torment to Prudence. It was almost as though she enjoyed mocking her younger sister’s passion for a man she could never wed. Whatever anyone thought of him, Prudence decided, she would defend her love with valor and tenacity.

“Mr. Walker is a gentleman,” she insisted. “A gentleman of the first order.”

“Nonsense,” Mary retorted. “He has no title, no land, no home, no education, nothing. How can you call him a gentleman?”

“Of course he has no title–he is an American!” Annoyed, Prudence lifted her skirts as she approached a large puddle in the street. “Americans have no peerage. By law, they are all equal.”

“Equally common. Equally ordinary. Equally low.” Mary rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Pru, you can do far better than Mr. Walker. Sarah and I hold the opinion that her nephew, Henry Carlyle, Lord Delacroix, would suit you very well indeed. She writes that he is returned from India much improved from their last acquaintance. Delacroix owns a fine home in London and another in the country. He is wealthy, handsome, and titled. In short, the perfect catch. Leave everything to your sisters, Pru. We shall make it all come about.”

“You will do nothing of the sort! Delacroix is a foolish, reckless cad. I would not marry him if he were the last man in England.”

Annoyed, Prudence stepped onto a narrow plank, a makeshift bridge someone had laid across the puddle. Attempting to steady herself, she did not notice a ragged boy dart from an alleyway. He splashed into the muddy water, snatched the velvet reticule at her waist, and fled.

“Oh!” she cried out.

The plank tilted. Prudence tipped. Her balance shifted.

In a pouf of white petticoats, she tottered backward until she could do nothing but unceremoniously seat herself in the center of the dirty pool. Mud splattered across her blue cape and pink skirt as she sprawled out, legs askew and one slipper floating in the muck.

“Dear lady!” A man knelt beside her. “Are you injured? Please allow me to assist you.”

She looked into eyes the color of warm treacle. A tumble of dark curls fell over his brow. Angled cheekbones were echoed in the squared jut of his jaw. It was the face of an angel. Her guardian angel.

“My bag,” she sputtered. “The boy took it.”

“My man has gone after him. Have no fear on that account. But what of you? Can you stand? May I not help you?”

He held out a hand sheathed in a brown kid glove. Prudence reached for it, but Mary intervened.

“You are mud from head to toe, Pru!” She blocked the stranger’s hand. “You must try to get up on your own. We are near the inn, and we shall find you a clean gown at once.”

“Hang my gown!” Prudence retorted. “Give me your hand, sister, or allow this gentleman to aid me. My entire . . . undercarriage is wet.”

At this, the man’s lips curved into a grin. “Do accept my offer of assistance, dear lady, and I shall wrap my cloak about you . . . you and your damp undercarriage.”

The motley crowd gathered on the street were laughing and elbowing one another at the sight of a fine lady seated in a puddle. Prudence had endured quite enough derision and mockery for one day. She set her muddy hand in the gentleman’s palm. He slipped his free hand under her arm and helped her rise. Before she could bemoan her disheveled state, he swept the thick wool cloak from his shoulders and laid it across her own.

“My name is Sherbourne,” he said as he led her toward the inn. “William Sherbourne of Otley.”

“I am Prudence Watson. Of London.”

Utterly miserable, she realized a truth far worse than a muddy gown, a missing slipper, and a tender undercarriage. She was crying. Crying first because she had been assaulted. Second because her bag was stolen away. Third because she was covered in cold, sticky mud. Fourth and every other number because Mr. Walker had abandoned her.

He had declared he loved Prudence too much to make her his wife. He kissed her hand. He bade her farewell. And she had neither seen nor heard from him since.

“You will catch pneumonia,” Mary cried as she hastened ahead of them to open the inn’s door. “Oh, Pru, you will have a fever by sunset and we shall bleed you and care for you and you will die anyway, just like my dear Mr. Heathhill, who left me a widow.”

“Upon my word, madam,” William spoke up. “I would never lay out such a fate for a woman so young and lovely. Miss Watson is hardly bound for an early grave. Do refrain from such predictions, I beg you.”

“Oh, Mary, his rose was in my reticule,” Prudence moaned. “The rose Mr. Walker gave me. I pressed it and vowed to keep it forever. And now it is lost.”

“Your husband?” William asked. He helped her ascend the stairs and escorted her into the inn. “Give me his name, and I shall alert him to your distress.”

“She has no husband,” Mary informed him. “We are both unmarried, for I am recently a widow.”

“Do accept my sincere condolences.”

“Thank you, sir. But we have not been properly introduced. I am Mrs. John Heathhill of Cranleigh Crescent in London.”

“William Sherbourne of Otley, at your service.” He made a crisp bow. “You are Miss Watson’s sister?”

“Yes,” Prudence cut in, “and if she will stop chattering for once, I shall welcome her attention. Mary, come with me, for I am shivering.”

“Heavens! That is exactly how the influenza began with my dear late husband!” Mary took her sister’s arm and stepped toward the narrow staircase. “Thank you, Mr. Sherbourne. We are in your debt.”

“Think nothing of it,” he replied. “I wish you a speedy recovery and excellent health, Miss Watson. Good afternoon, ladies.”

“Such a gentleman!” Mary exclaimed as she accompanied her sister up the stairs and into their suite. “So very chivalrous. I wager he is married. Even so, I should be happy to see him again. You have his cloak still, and on that account we are compelled to call on him. What good fortune! He is well mannered indeed. And you must agree he is terribly handsome.”

Prudence was in no humor to discuss anyone’s merits. “Find my blue gown, Mary. The one with roses. And ask the maids to bring hot water. Hot, mind you. I cannot bear another drop of cold water. I am quite chilled to the bone.”

While Mary gave instructions to the inn’s staff, Prudence began removing her sodden gown. She shuddered at the memory of that boy snatching her reticule. Thank heaven for Mr. Sherbourne’s kindness. But Mr. Walker’s rose was gone now, just as the man himself had disappeared from her life.

“Did you like him?” Mary asked as she sorted through the gowns in her sister’s trunk. “I thought he had nice eyes. Very brown. His smile delighted me, too. He was uncommonly tall, yet his bearing could not have been more regal. If he is yet unmarried, I think him just the sort of man to make you a good husband.”

“A husband?” Prudence could hardly believe it. “You were matchmaking while I sat in the mud? Honestly, Mary, you should wed Mr. Sherbourne yourself.”

“Now you tease me. You know my mourning is not complete. Even if it were, I am certain I shall never find another man as good to me as my dear late Mr. Heathhill.”

“If you will not marry, why must you make such valiant efforts to force me into that state? I have declared my intention never to wed. You and Sarah must respect that decision.”

“Our duty to you supersedes all your ridiculous notions, Pru. You have no home and no money. Society accepts you only because of your excellent connections.”

“You refer to yourself, of course. And Sarah. With such superior sisters to guide me, I can never go wrong.”

When the maids entered the room with pitchers of steaming water, Prudence gladly escaped her hovering sister. She loved Mary well enough, but the death of Mr. Heathhill had cast the poor woman into a misery that nothing could erase. Mary’s baby daughter resided in the eager arms of doting grandparents while she was away, but she missed the child dreadfully. With both sisters mourning lost love, their holiday in the north had proven as melancholy as the misty moors, glassy lakes, and windswept dells of Yorkshire.

Not even a warm bath and clean, dry garments could stop Prudence from shivering. Mary had gone to the inn’s gathering room with the hope of ordering tea. The thought of a cup of tea and a crackling blaze on the hearth sent Prudence hurrying down after her sister.

Amid clusters of chatting guests, she spotted Mary at a table near the fire. Two maids were laying out a hearty tea–a spread of currant cake, warm scones, cold meats, jams, and marmalade. A round-bellied brown teapot sent up a curl of steam.

Prudence chose a chair while Mary gloomily cut the cake and served it. “Not enough currants,” she decreed. “And very crumbly.”

“I have been thinking about your observations on my situation in life,” Prudence said. “I see you cannot help but compare my lot to that of my siblings. Thanks to our late father, Sarah has more money than she wants. You inherited your husband’s estate and thus have no worry about the future. But I? I am to be pitied. You think me poor.”

“You are poor,” Mary corrected her. “Sarah is not only rich, but her place in society was secured forever by her marriage into the Delacroix family. She is terribly well connected. Surely you read Miss Pickworth’s column in last week’s issue of The Tattler. She reported that Sarah’s new husband is likely to be awarded a title.”

“Miss Pickworth, Miss Pickworth. Do you read The Tattler day and night, Mary? One might suppose Miss Pickworth to be your dearest friend–and not some anonymous gossip whose reports keep society in a flutter.”

“Miss Pickworth keeps society abreast of important news.” Mary poured two cups of tea. “I value her advice, and I welcome her information.”

“Unfounded rumors and hints of scandal,” Prudence retorted. “Nothing but tittle-tattle.”

“Oh, stir your tea, Pru.”

For a moment, both sisters tended to their cups. But Prudence at last broached a subject she had been considering for some time.

“I am ready to go home,” she told her sister. “I want to see Sarah. I miss my friends, Betsy most of all. Anne, you know, is dearer still to me, but she is rarely at home. I do not mind, really, for the thought of Anne only reminds me of Mr. Walker.”

“Please forgive my interruption.”

A man’s deep voice startled Prudence. She looked up to find William Sherbourne standing at their table. He was all she had remembered, and more. His shoulders were impossibly broad, his hair the exact color of strong tea, his hands so large they would circle a woman’s waist without difficulty. She had not noticed how fine he looked in his tall black riding boots and coat. But now she did, and she sat up straighter.

“May I trouble you ladies for a moment?” he asked.

“Mr. Sherbourne, how delightful to see you again.” Mary’s words dripped honey. “Do join us for tea, won’t you?”

“Thank you, but I fear I cannot. Duty calls.” He turned his deep brown eyes on Prudence. “Miss Watson, my man retrieved your bag. I trust nothing is amiss.”

He held out the velvet reticule she had been carrying. So delighted she could not speak, Prudence took it and loosened the silk drawstrings. After a moment’s search, she located her small leather-bound journal and opened it. From its pages, the dried blossom fluttered onto her lap.

“Sister, have you nothing to say to Mr. Sherbourne?” Mary asked. “Perhaps you would like to thank him for his kindness?”

“Yes, of course,” Prudence said, tucking the rose and notebook back into her reticule and rising from her chair. “I am grateful to you, Mr. Sherbourne. First you rescued me from the street, and now you have returned my bag. You are very gallant.”

He laughed. “Gallant, am I? I fear there are many who would disagree with you. But perhaps you would honor me with the favor of your company for a moment. There is someone I wish you to meet.”

Prudence glanced at her sister, who was pretending not to notice anything but the few currants in her tea cake.

“Do run along, Pru,” Mary said. “I am quite content to take my tea and await your return.”

William held out his arm, and Prudence slipped her hand around it. “I hope you do not think me forward in my request,” he remarked. “You know nothing of my character, yet you accompany me willingly.”

“I have called you gallant,” she replied. “Was I mistaken?”

“Greatly.” His brown eyes twinkled as he escorted her toward the door of the inn. “I am so far from gallant that you would do well never to speak to me again. But it is too late, for I have taken you captive. You are under my spell, and I may do with you as I wish.”

Uncertain, Prudence studied his face. “What is it you wish, sir?”

“Ah, but if I reveal my dark schemes, the spell will be broken. I would have you think me courteous. Noble. Kind.”

“You tease me now. Are you not a gentleman?”

“Quite the opposite. I am, in fact, a rogue. A rogue of the worst sort, and never to be trusted. I rescue ladies from puddles only on Tuesdays. The remainder of the week, I am contemptible. But look, here is my man with the scalawag who stole your bag. And with them stands a true gentleman, one who wishes to know you.”

Feeling slightly off-kilter, Prudence turned her attention to a liveried footman just inside the inn, near the door. In his right hand, he clasped the ragged collar of a young boy whose dirty face wore a sneer. Beside them stood a man so like William Sherbourne in appearance that she thought they must be twins.

“Randolph Sherbourne, eldest of three brothers,” William announced. “Randolph, may I introduce Miss Prudence Watson?”

“I am delighted to make your acquaintance, madam.” He made her a genteel bow.

She returned a somewhat wobbly curtsy. It was one thing to meet one man of stature, elegance, and wit, but quite another to find herself in the presence of two such men.

“Miss Watson, you are as lovely as my brother reported,” Randolph said. “His accounts are so often exaggerated that I give them little notice. But in your case, he perhaps did not do you justice.”

“I believe I called her an angel, Randolph. There can be no superlative more flattering. Yet I confess I did struggle to give an adequate account of Miss Watson’s charms.”

“Please, gentlemen,” Prudence spoke up at last. She had heard too much already. These brothers were men like all the rest, stumbling over themselves to impress and flatter. “My tea awaits, and I must hasten to thank your footman for retrieving my reticule.”

“But of course,” William agreed. “Harris, do relate to Miss Watson your adventures of the afternoon.”

The footman bowed. “I pursued this boy down an alley and over a fence, madam. In short order, I captured him and retrieved your bag.”

“Thank you, Harris.” Prudence favored him with a smile. “I am most grateful.”

“What shall we do with the vile offender?” William asked her. “I have considered the gallows, but his neck is too thin to serve that purpose. The rack might be useful, but he has already surrendered your reticule, and we need no further information from him. Gaol, do you think? Or should we feed him to wild hogs?”

Prudence pursed her lips to keep her expression stern. “I favor bears,” she declared. “They are larger than hogs and make quick work of their prey.”

The boy let out a strangled squawk. “Please, ma’am, I’m sorry for what I done. I’ll never do it again, I swear.”

She bent to study his face and noted freckles beneath the dirt. “What is your name, young man? And how old are you?”

“I’m ten,” he said. “My name is Tom Smith.”

“Tom Smith,” she repeated. “Does your father own a smithy?”

“No, ma’am. My father be dead these three years together.”

“I am sorry to hear it. Tell me, Tom, do you believe your father would be pleased that you have taken to stealing?”

“He would know why I done it, for he would see Davy’s sufferin’ and wish to ease it–same as all of us.”

“And who is Davy?” she asked.

“My brother. We’re piecers, ma’am. And all our sisters be scavengers. Davy was crippled in the mill.” Tom’s large gray eyes fastened on William Sherbourne as he pointed a thin finger. “His mill.”

“Impossible,” William said. “My family built our mill, in fact, with the express purpose of providing honest and humane labor for the villagers of Otley.”

“Take this, Tom.” Prudence pressed a coin into the boy’s grimy hand. “Please use it for your brother’s care.”

“A shillin’?” He gaped at her.

“Yes. But you must promise to turn from crime and always be a good boy.”

“I promise, ma’am. With all my heart.”

“Run along, then.” She smiled as he pushed the shilling deep into the pocket of his trousers.

“You are an angel,” Tom said. “Truly, you are.”

With a final look back at her, he slipped out of the footman’s grasp and flew through the doorway and down the street.

“Now that is an interesting approach to deterring misbehavior,” William addressed his brother. “Catch a thief, then pay him. What do you think, Randolph? Shall you recommend it to Parliament on your next appointment in the House of Lords? Perhaps it might be made a law.”

Prudence bristled. “I gave the shilling to aid Tom Smith’s injured brother. Perhaps you should recommend that to Parliament. I have heard much about the abhorrent treatment of children who work in the mills.”

Randolph Sherbourne spoke up. “My family’s worsted mill, Miss Watson, is nothing like those factories of ill repute.”

“I believe young Davy Smith might argue the point. His brother blames your mill for the injury.”

“Do you take the word of a pickpocket over that of a gentleman?” William asked her.

“I see you call yourself a gentleman when the situation requires one, Mr. Sherbourne. Only moments ago, you were a rogue.”

“I fear William’s first account of his character was accurate,” Randolph told her. “We have done our best to redeem him, but alas, our efforts always come to naught. He is bad through and through, a villain with a black heart and no soul whatever.”

“As wicked as that, is he?” Prudence suddenly found it difficult to fan her flame of moral outrage. “Then I am glad our acquaintance will be of short duration. My sister and I soon end our tour of the north country. Perhaps as early as tomorrow morning we shall set off for London.”

“But I have hardly begun to abuse William,” Randolph protested. “My brother deserves much worse, and you must know the whole truth about him. My wife and I should enjoy the honor of your company at dinner today. You and your sister are welcome at Thorne Lodge.”

“You will never persuade Miss Watson to linger in Yorkshire,” William assured his brother. “Her heart hastens her toward a gentleman who has been so fortunate as to win the love of an angel.”

“Ah, you are engaged, Miss Watson,” Randolph said. “I should very much like to congratulate the man who prevailed over all other suitors.”

“His name is Walker,” William informed him. “With a single red rose, he secured his triumph.”

“You assume too much, sir. I am not engaged.” Prudence looked away, afraid the men might see her distress and mock it. “Marriage is not the object of my heart’s desire.”

“Yet your pain upon losing Mr. Walker’s rose was great indeed,” William observed. “What can have parted you from him?”

“Upon my honor, Mr. Sherbourne,” Prudence snapped, “I think you very rude to intrude on my privacy with such a question.”

“Yes, but rudeness is the hallmark of my character. I give offense wherever I go.”

“Indeed,” Randolph agreed. “William is always impolite and discourteous. I should urge you to ignore him, Miss Watson. But in this case, I am as curious as he. How dare anyone object to a gentleman of whom you approve so heartily?”

“Mr. Walker is an American,” she told the brothers. “He is a blacksmith. And poor. With so many disadvantages, society decreed a match between us unconscionable. We were parted, and I do not know where he has gone.”

“An American, did you say?” William asked. “Is he an older man? rather tall with a stocky build? black hair?”

“Mr. Walker’s ancestors were native to America,” Prudence said. “Of the Osage tribe. He is more than twice my age. Sir, do you know him?”

“I hired the man three months ago. He is the blacksmith at my mill.”

Prudence gasped. “Mr. Walker is here? in Otley?”

“Perhaps she will not be leaving Yorkshire quite so soon,” Randolph commented. “I believe Miss Watson has found a reason to stay.”

“She may find reason to go when she learns that Mr. Walker is soon to be married.” William’s brown eyes softened. “I am sorry to bear unhappy tidings. Dear lady, you look quite pale. May I bring you a chair?”

“No,” she said, holding up a hand. “I am unmoved by your news. It is right and proper that Mr. Walker has found a wife. I am very happy for him. And now if you will both excuse me, my sister has long been wishing for my company.”

After giving the briefest of curtsies, she turned away and made for the fire as swiftly as her feet would fly. She would not cry. She would not reveal the slightest emotion. No one must guess she felt anything but contentment and perfect ease.

“Whatever is the matter with you?” Mary asked as Prudence sank into her chair. “You look as if you might faint dead away!”

“Mr. Walker is here,” Prudence choked out. “In Yorkshire. In this very town. And he is engaged to be married.”

Mary offered her handkerchief. “Shocking,” she whispered. “Shocking and sad. But dry your eyes before you make a scene, Pru, for I have just had the most wonderful news from the lady at the next table. Do you not wish to hear it?”

Prudence could barely form words. “No, Mary. I am quite undone.”

“You must hear it anyway, for this news concerns you.” Mary leaned across the table and lowered her voice. “Mr. William Sherbourne, who rescued you from the puddle and has paid you such extraordinary attention, is a proper gentleman with excellent connections. His eldest brother is a baron and owns a great estate in Yorkshire. His second brother is a clergyman who lives in India. He himself is a most distinguished officer in the Royal Navy, and he has just returned from sea after many months fighting the Americans . . . or was it the French? I can never recall.”

“Nor can I,” Prudence murmured.

“Never mind, because he has quit the Navy and is now settled in Otley for good. He owns a large worsted mill and is worth five thousand pounds a year. Think of it–five thousand a year! And best of all–he is unmarried. Quite unattached. How wonderful for you!”

Prudence swallowed against the growing lump in her throat. “I do not care if he is worth ten thousand a year and owns five worsted mills, Mary. I do not want him. I do not want him at all.”

“Quick, dry your eyes, Pru, for here he comes. And his brother. You may win his heart yet, and what happiness awaits you then. Oh, heavens, why did I not wear my good bonnet?”

Read the rest…

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Review: Thicker Than Blood by C.J. Darlington

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thicker-than-blood-200After reading C.J. Darlington’s first novel I can say that she is definitely on my list of ‘author’s I’ll read more of.’ It’s no wonder that her book, Thicker Than Blood, won the Christian Writers Guild’s Operation First Novel contest. The writing is strong, the characters are quirky and keep you reading just to see what they’ll do next. The premise is unique and interesting as well – the main character, Christy Williams, works in bookstore and wants to become an antiquarian book buyer.

But, when a stolen Hemingway first edition is found in her possession things go downhill quickly. Christy finds herself running from her life,  her scary ex-boyfriend and God. She’s sure that things can never be right again…..

It’s a great read!

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Review: Camp Club Girls by Barbour

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When I was young I LOVED reading the Sweet Valley Twins books, Nancy Drew and The Babysitters Club (remember those?!). campclubgirlsWell, I’m happy to say that Barbour is releasing a new line of books similar to these for Christian girls. The Camp Club Girls series centers around a group of girls who meet at Camp Discovery. They become friends and form a group they call the ‘Camp Club Girls’ and soon find themselves embroiled in mysteries and adventures galore.

These books are great for tween girls (ages 8 – 12). They have all the zany fun and intrigue of books like Sweet Valley, but they also include a component that none of those that I listed above do: the spiritual component. I’m so excited to have a series like this to share with my little girl. (Thanks, Barbour!) Read the rest…

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Review: The Great Christmas Bowl

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GCB-for-webThe Great Christmas Bowl is the perfect book to get you in the Christmas spirit! I laughed, I cried and I wanted to pull out all my Christmas decorations and get the season started. I managed to hold myself back from decorating quite yet, but I have spent some time thinking about how I can give back this Christmas.

The story centers around the Wallace family, especially mom Wallace (also known as Marianne). Marianne is a HUGE football fan and is elated when her son decides to play during his senior year in high school. In fact, she’s such a friend that she ends up becoming the mascot when the original mascot falls ill. Read the rest…

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The Source of Miracles by Kathleen McGowan

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Kathleen McGowan is the author of the instant New York Times bestsellers The Expected One and The Book of Love, which are the first two novels in The Magdalene Line fiction series. This series is based on 20 years of research on four continents into the history of women in Christianity and their long-forgotten role in the development of global spirituality. Kathleen McGowan has been interviewed frequently on network and international television, including segments with Diane Sawyer, CNN, Fox News and the BBC. She has appeared on radio programs worldwide and has been profiled in hundreds of publications, including the New York Times and USA Today. She lives in Los Angeles.

Visit the author’s website.

Product Details:

List Price: $22.00
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Fireside (November 3, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 143913765X
ISBN-13: 978-1439137659
AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

I

Introduction—The -Lord’s Prayer

On Easter Sunday in the year 2007, the Los Angeles Times reported that two billion people worldwide were united by one powerful common denominator: the -Lord’s Prayer. On that date, nearly one third of the -planet’s population recited that prayer in their native languages as an expression of faith.

While Christianity has been divided since its inception into factions with theological differences, this single prayer unifies all of them. The content of the -Lord’s Prayer cannot be affected by dogma or politics. Even while different denominations may make minor variations, the essential words and the teachings they impart remain unchanged since the day that Jesus first taught them to his followers. The two billion souls who call themselves Christians often differ in more ways than they are alike, yet this single prayer is the common ground for all of them. Jesus gave us a prayer so universal and impactful that it would endure for thousands of years and against the harshest odds. It is not only indelible, it is eternal.

The -Lord’s Prayer is now, as it was when Jesus lived, the incorruptible formula for personal and global transformation.

Most Christians learn the -Lord’s Prayer in early childhood and can recite it by rote and without effort. It is so ingrained in our memories that we -don’t even have to think about it.

And therein lies the problem. We -don’t even have to think about it.

While most of us can rattle off this greatest of prayers and know that it is a cornerstone of Christianity, the full extent of our understanding often ends right about there. Many of us have forgotten the extraordinary power and meaning behind the words, if we ever thought about them to begin with. I learned the -Lord’s Prayer when I was three years old, in preschool, many years before I would ever know what words like hallowed, trespasses, or temptation meant. There -wasn’t a child in my class who could have told you the meaning behind the prayer, and yet we were all able to recite it flawlessly on Parents’ Night. We were taught to speak it on cue, like obedient little parrots who could make the appropriate sounds come out after endless repetitions but had no ability to understand the somewhat exotic–sounding syllables.

I can assure you that we were not taught the origins of the prayer as children, and even if someone had tried to explain it to us, we were far too young to understand it as a dynamic spiritual practice and a foolproof recipe for creating a joyous and fulfilled life.

So we grow up never knowing that, with the -Lord’s Prayer, Jesus was giving us the formula for manifesting miracles—not only when we most need them, but on a very regular basis.

While interviewing a random selection of Christians from different denominations, I was stunned to find how few of them even knew that this prayer came directly from Jesus. “Wait a minute—Jesus created the -Lord’s Prayer?” was the shocked question I heard over and over again. Even some truly devout churchgoers looked at me in surprise when I said this prayer was the work of Jesus. Some -didn’t believe me, even when I cited the gospel accounts that attest to this origin. One replied, “But they -didn’t teach us that in school,” as if such an omission in our spiritual education were unusual!

But Jesus was, in fact, the author of this most perfectly constructed blueprint for spiritual change. In the New Testament, the -Lord’s Prayer can be found in the Gospel of Matthew in chapter 6, verses 9–13, as a component of his Sermon on the Mount, and then again in Luke, chapter 11, verses 1–4, when one of the disciples asks Jesus to “teach us to pray.” And teach us he did. In doing so, he gave us this priceless treasure: a set of simple and unchangeable directions, in the form of a prayer, for discovering the real secret of how to have the life you truly desire: a life filled with love, happiness, and yes, even wealth. The prayer shows us that all these wonderful gifts come about through an increase in faith: faith in God, faith in ourselves, and faith in our fellow humans—in that order.

The -Lord’s Prayer addresses the issues that hurt us, confound us, and impede our progress, and illuminates the way in which we can overcome these obstacles. The prayer is our guide to purifying our spirit of anything that troubles it and holds us back from being “fully realized” human beings—which is to say, human beings functioning at our highest potential, a potential that leads directly to happiness and abundance. Using this prayer regularly as a spiritual practice creates real and lasting change at the soul level, change which becomes manifest in very earthly, visible ways.

When spoken with faith and intention, these are literally magic words.

On the eve of my thirtieth birthday in the spring of 1993, I became an ordained minister as an expression of my commitment to studying and understanding the teachings of Jesus. Fifteen years, thousands of pages of reading, and hundreds of hours of spirited discussions later, I have come to what some may consider a simplistic, and therefore perhaps controversial, view of Christian teachings. I believe that if you study and hold tight to the -Lord’s Prayer, the Beatitudes, a handful of parables, and what Jesus tells us in Matthew 22, verses 37–39—love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and love thy neighbor as thyself—then you pretty much have everything you need to live a perfect life and encourage peace on earth. But foremost of these gifts, the center from which all blessings spring, is the -Lord’s Prayer. While the other elements teach us valuable spiritual lessons, this great prayer is the tool that connects us immediately and directly to the source that is within each of us: the source of faith, the source of love, the source of for-giveness. And in combination, those things are the source of very real miracles.

My own life has been transformed dramatically by utilizing the -Lord’s Prayer as a regular spiritual practice. As a result, I have witnessed the most miraculous events, including wonders of life and death. I have been blessed with extraordinary abundance and joy. But this was not always the case.

To show you how I came to truly know the -Lord’s Prayer as the perfect formula for dramatic transformation—and how you can do the same—I must first take you with me into the past, through the once locked doors of a secret society and into the heart of a medieval mystery school.

I must first introduce you to the Mystery of the Rose with Six Petals.

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Healing Victims of Sexual Abuse by Paula Sandford

Book News, Non-Fiction, Reviews No Comments
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Paula Sandford is cofounder of Elijah House ministries. Throughout the past fifty years, she has ministered to countless number of people in the areas of inner healing and transformation as an ordained minister and counselor. Many around the world consider her to be their personal counselor and spiritual mother. With her husband, John, she has coauthored more than twenty books. Paula and John have been married for over fifty years. They have six children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Visit the author’s website.

Product Details:

List Price: $14.99
Paperback: 146 pages
Publisher: Charisma House (August 4, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1599797534
ISBN-13: 978-1599797533

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Chapter 1

Eyes to See and Ears to Hear

Having eyes, do you not see? And having ears, do you not hear? And do you not remember?

Mark 8:18

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:1

We . . . shall assure our heart before Him, in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.

1 John 3:19–20

I

can’t believe it!” “How could I have been so blind?” “How
can I ever forgive myself for letting such a thing go on? I left my child so vulnerable!” “Where was I? How could I have failed
to see?”

Questions such as these have arisen from the bleeding and bewildered hearts of thousands of parents who have just discovered that their child, who they felt had been so safe in their love, nurture, and protection, has been sexually molested by one they trusted. There are no simple answers that can instantly take away the pain.

Dealing With Self-Condemnation

As parents or loved ones of an abused child, we must begin by dealing with our own self-condemnation for our failure to be what we so desperately wanted to be and overcome the need to punish ourselves by wallowing in the misery of “what-ifs” and “if-onlys.” It is a fact that Jesus bears our grief and carries our sorrows (Isa. 53:4), but we have to release to Him the burden of our woundedness, anger, and hate. The first step is to choose to forgive ourselves. With the support and, if needed, the coaching of a prayer partner or prayer minister, we should pray, confessing both our feelings and our faith:

Lord, I am overwhelmed by my grief. My heart condemns me for my failure to protect my child. I don’t know what to do; it seems like the whole world is crashing in on me, and I’m spinning in confusion. O God, I need some answers! I know that in You there is no condemnation at all. I don’t know how to forgive myself, but by an act of my will I make that choice. And I choose to trust You to deal with my heart and set me free from condemning self-accusation or any other way in which I might punish myself.

The prayer minister or prayer partner needs to respond, strongly affirming:

Thank You, Lord, that You weep with and for Your children. You have heard this prayer, and Your heart is full of compassion. Thank You for Your forgiveness, love, and healing balm that You are pouring into this wounded and repentant heart right now. (Person’s name), in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Receive that forgiveness. Lord, lift off the weight of guilt. Bring all thoughts and feelings of condemnation to death on Your cross. Quiet the inner storms, and comfort (person’s name) in this time of fear. Lord, we stand together in the strength of Your Spirit and choose to put our trust in You. We invite You to take charge of us and every aspect of this difficult situation we face. Let us do all things in Your wisdom, according to Your grace, love, and power.

Following the prayer, we need to walk in a continual discipline of reckoning self-accusation and condemnation as dead on the cross each time we recognize that we are beginning to entertain such thoughts and feelings. If we do not, the process of healing stops. Each time we can say to the Lord, “Here I go again, putting myself under guilt. In Your name, Jesus, I renounce that and choose to walk in Your forgiveness.” And then go on with whatever tasks we have to do.

Understanding Why We Had No Eyes to See

Beyond choosing to forgive ourselves, we need answers to the question, “How could I have been so blind?”

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong, and a man of knowledge increases power.

—Proverbs 24:3–5

The first answer is that we did not want to believe it possible that a trusted friend or loved one, especially a father or stepfather, could have abused our child. If we suspected at all, we probably resisted the idea, feeling guilty that such a thing would even cross our mind. If suspicion persisted, fear of possible consequences of discovering truth overcame our ability to confront the issue. And so we suppressed our thoughts and feelings to the point of total denial. Unwittingly we became literally blind, deaf, and insensitive to reality.

Linda was a lovely, gentle woman whom John and I had known well for many years. Her marriage to Bill was written in tension, dictated by his frequent explosions of violent, unexplainable temper and punctuated by her tearful but persistent and often placating attempts to gather the broken but still workable pieces of their home life together for the sake of their children. Though Bill professed to be a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian, he had fallen into adultery numerous times. He had begged for forgiveness and had declared vehemently on each occasion that he was truly repentant, had learned his lesson, and would never fall again.

Finally, when he was caught seducing a teenage babysitter, Linda recognized that he could never change until he dealt with deep issues in his heart. But he stubbornly avoided taking the initiative to submit himself to a prayer minister, even though friends and family strongly encouraged him to do so. It was not until Linda obtained a legal separation that he relented by agreeing to receive extensive prayer ministry, that being the prerequisite for any thought of reconciliation. John and I had ministered to the two of them from time to time as much as Bill had been able to allow. But we had seen that he was always more interested in patching a quarrel than in truly healing his marriage or transforming his life. Knowing that we were too close to Linda to minister to them with sufficient objectivity, we recommended that they go to a couple we knew who are among the finest counselors available in either the Christian or secular community.

During the ensuing seven months, Bill faced many of the root causes for his insecurities and for his need to defile women. He dealt with a number of basic sources for his anger. His counselors determined that he had progressed far enough to return to his family. For a period of time he was able to manifest the effects of his healing, and Linda for the first time began to celebrate real hope for a stable marriage. It was at this point that Bill decided he could sustain his new life on his own—without counseling or a support group—and the healing process was aborted. He continued to play the role of the new man, making all the right sounds, but allowed no one to relate closely enough to know him or to haul him to account when he began to fall back periodically into former patterns of irritability and temper.

Bill’s and Linda’s fourteen-year-old daughter, Karen, who had always been a responsible, sensitive, loving child and good student, began to exhibit rebellious, irresponsible behavior. Truancy and unexplained absences from home grew in frequency. Often Linda would arrive home from work to discover that Karen was nowhere to be found. Attempts to enforce discipline elicited angry, defensive outbursts. When anyone invited Karen to talk about her problems, she defiantly rejected every attempt to reach her and retreated into sullen moodiness.

Finally and with great difficulty she came to her mother with a horrible story of sexual abuse. Her father had been molesting her since the time of her parents’ separation, which meant that she was being abused all during the time of their counseling and reconciliation!

Shattered, torn, fearful, and confused, Linda confronted her husband. Bill adamantly denied all accusations, claiming that Karen’s imagination was running away with her, that she had been unduly influenced by the stories of friends who had been abused. He went on, dramatically playing the role of the injured party. Linda didn’t know whom or what to believe. Finally, after repeated questioning, he confessed to having “touched” her “once or twice.” As Karen’s behavior progressed more and more to the extreme, however, it became evident that he was guilty of much more than he had been willing to confess.

Realization of what had been taking place for years within her home overwhelmed Linda with the force of a tidal wave. She had wanted so desperately to believe that Bill was changing and had so set herself to celebrate every little sign of his improvement that she had shut out the little signals that might otherwise have alerted her to the presence of trouble. Now she had no alternative but to put him out of the home in an effort to protect Karen. If she had not, the state would likely have taken her children from her. She and the children proceeded with family counseling throughout most of the next year and received a great deal of healing from that source as well as through support groups within her church.

Bill received counseling for sexual rehabilitation while serving a term in prison. He and Linda are divorced. She and the children have rebonded, and the Lord is blessing and redeeming their lives as only He can.

Equipping Our Eyes to Recognize Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

A second answer to parental blindness may lie in the simple fact that few people have either the experience or the knowledge that would equip them to identify (in the behavior of their children) the symptoms that commonly result from sexual abuse.

Educating oneself to recognize sexual abuse symptoms “after the fact” might seem to some to be too late and somewhat useless. This is not the case at all. An important part of healing begins as we are enabled to identify in right perspective the painfully mystifying behaviors of our children. As we realize clearly and specifically that their strange, out-of-control, and often hurtful responses proceed from woundedness and fear, we can begin to relate to them easily with tenderness and compassion rather than with frustration and anger. We can seek their forgiveness not only for our failure to protect them but also for many wounds and unbearable pressures we inflicted on them in the blindness of our desperation to rescue them from self-destructive patterns.

Most victims of sexual abuse have worried about themselves and have struggled with feelings of guilt they haven’t known how to handle. Children have felt they were “bad”; teenagers have seen the bewilderment and hurt in their mother’s eyes and have felt responsible for injury to younger siblings; they may have wanted to stop running, cease punishing, and ask for help but couldn’t. An enlightened and empathetic parent can help them to know that their feelings and behavior were normal reactions to the abuse they experienced, that they were not terrible or crazy. A prayer minister can help victims to see these things, but a parent who is an affirming part of the process can lay an effective foundation for reconciliation and rebonding.

An informed parent of an abused child can also help to provide immeasurable encouragement and healing to others who suffer similar heartbreak.

The following lists of symptoms are not intended to be comprehensive or exhaustive. Rather they serve to provide signposts that point to possible abuse. It is important to realize that children who exhibit some of these behaviors might not be victims of abuse but could be acting out other pressures, upsets, and influences in their lives. This information is a composite of John’s and my own experiences in prayer ministry that we found confirmed in varieties of written material and in conversations with parents, other prayer ministers, and preschool instructors.

Behavioral Symptoms in Toddlers and Preschool Children

Anxiety in the presence of persons with whom they used to be comfortable; being ill at ease around particular people or types of people; for instance, tense and/or tearful withdrawal from the presence of men and boys

Sudden unaccustomed fear of bathrooms or shower rooms, or nervous resistance to being undressed

Masturbation that exceeds curious exploration and discovery: preoccupation with excessive sexual manipulation or rubbing themselves against chair arms, pillows, dolls, etc.; sex play with other children beyond the normal “playing doctor” games: inserting objects into the vagina or anus, imitating aspects of adult love play. (In some homes pornographic movie scenes will have made disturbing impressions.) One preschool teacher reported that she had observed several children who tended to group together in a corner of the schoolyard playing a game of pulling down one another’s pants. On one occasion she discovered a child trying to initiate oral genital stimulation.

Sleeplessness, disturbed sleep, nightmares

Excessive crying, clinging to a parent, not wanting to leave the house, unusually fearful responses to being left with a babysitter

Sudden personality changes: i.e., a normally quiet child becomes hyperactive or negatively aggressive toward other children.

Excessive and chronic itching and/or tenderness in genital areas

Behavioral Symptoms in Children From Primary School Age to Preteens

Decline in consistency and quality of schoolwork: inability to concentrate, assignments not completed, truancy, tardiness, falling grades

Disturbed sleep, nightmarish dreams, inability to sleep; wearing multiple layers of clothing to bed

Decline in energy level due to anxiety, exhaustion, and/or lack of sleep

Fear of being alone with men or boys; avoidance of particular people with whom the child used to be comfortable; withdrawal from friends and activities previously enjoyed

Change in eating habits: nervous or distracted picking at food, compulsive overeating for comfort

In girls: poor personal hygiene in a girl who normally cares about her appearance (attempting to make herself unattractive)

Exaggeration of normal personality traits: i.e., a daydreamer becomes even more out of touch with the world, an energetic child becomes hyperactive, etc.; sudden dramatic swings to opposite personality poles

Invention of irrational excuses not to participate in school or extracurricular activities that formerly inspired enthusiasm

Sudden inordinate modesty, self-consciousness about the body; fear of restrooms and showers

Sudden cessation of conversational sharing

Bed-wetting when it was not a problem previously. A child can be so wounded by sexual abuse that he/she suppresses awareness of sex organs, and thus fails to respond to the body’s signals that would normally awaken the one who needs to urinate.

Increasing inability to relate well to peers

Unexplained anger and aggressive behavior

Reluctance to go home after school

Running away: boys tend more to run by withdrawing. Girls tend to literally run away from home.

Behavioral Symptoms in Adolescents

Running: A girl may leave school in the middle of the day to go riding with a friend. She may go to a friend’s home, fail to notify her family of her whereabouts, and perhaps spend the night. She may disappear for a number of days, fleeing from the home of one friend to another. When she returns, it is with irrational excuses or often with no excuse at all. When challenged, she “can’t remember” what her friend’s address is, or she “doesn’t have a phone.” She may exit by a window in the middle of the night.

She tends to keep company with friends who are several years older than she, and many of the crowd she chooses are dropouts with no responsibility to occupy their time, with no visible parental support or supervision.

She may take with her no change of clothes, no cosmetics, not even a coat for her periodic excursions.

When questioned or confronted, her response is evasive and emphatic: “I’m OK. I can take care of myself.”

We have observed such behavior in girls as early as the seventh or eighth grades, intensifying wherever molestation continues to be a threat. Usually the abuser is the father or stepfather, though similar responses may be made to avoid someone in the home who is not that closely related.

The victim may have experienced the initial molestation several years earlier. The first violation inflicted the deepest wounding and established a base of confusion and fear. Subsequent experiences reinforce the wounding, even though the child may have learned to fantasize in an effort to shut them out of her consciousness. If the molestation consisted only of fondling, she may have sensed in her spirit the wrongness and uncleanness of the act, but the one who touched her was Daddy (or some other trusted adult). Children are trained not to say no to adults, especially to their parents. She needed to be loved and affirmed. He represented authority. He said everything was all right. But it didn’t feel right. She struggled with conflicting emotions and began to manifest avoidance patterns. She no longer wanted to sit on his lap. She resisted his hugs that earlier she had sought. She no longer wanted her daddy to tuck her in at night. She wanted to sleep with her door closed. If her mother worked, the girl would play at a neighbor’s house until she was sure her mother had returned home. These changed patterns develop gradually into more easily recognizable running patterns as she grows to adolescence.

The true reasons for an abused child’s behavior are seldom obvious. In the story I shared earlier (Bill, Linda, and Karen), it was easy to attribute Karen’s earlier rebellious actions to her father’s increasing temper tantrums. Teenagers will not stay around to be yelled at if they can help it! In the best of circumstances, neither do teenagers respond as well to the responsibility of chores, rules, and regulations as they did when they were children. Even well-adjusted teenagers naturally become self-centeredly involved in their own world of activity and forget to come home on time. Unfortunately, Karen’s behavior was ascribed to a normal process of individuation aggravated and exaggerated by her father’s temperament—until it exploded into frantic rebellion out of all proportion to the known facts of the father’s temper and tension in the home.

Drug and alcohol abuse

Inability to sleep: desperate attempts to crowd out anxious thoughts by reading in bed until the early hours of morning; futile attempts to lose self in the sound of loud rock music through earphones; nightmares; exhaustion

Inability to concentrate or stay awake in class; unfinished school assignments; failing grades

Increasing disrespect of authority; intolerance of normal flaws in adult behavior; spasmodic acting out of parental roles, as if to “show them” how they should conduct themselves

Promiscuity

Going to bed fully dressed

Obesity

Pervasive anxiety

Self-mutilation; suicidal talk or attempts

Notifying the Authorities

When a sexual abuser has been identified, he must be reported to the proper authorities. This is not to be understood as taking revenge. In most states it is a requirement of law. It is also a matter of facing facts. Abusers are compulsive and will repeat the crime until the root causes for their propensity to act in such a way have been brought to death on the cross and they have been completely healed. If an abuser is the father or the stepfather of the abused, he must be separated from the home until he has been declared safe by those who are qualified to discern. Even then, he needs continuing supportive counsel until resurrection life in the Lord Jesus Christ has been securely built into the fiber and structure of his being. Let the Christian understand that such wisdom and love are for the abuser’s sake as well as for the victim’s. “The advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors” (Eccles. 7:12).

There are undoubtedly hundreds of thousands of cases of childhood sexual abuse that have never been reported. What has happened in the lives of those people? I have seen a great deal of what I call “crippled coping” in many we have ministered to. Some who have sought out ministry were already aware that their present problems were rooted in early experiences of molestation. But a large number have come, having only perplexing symptoms. Suppressed memories then spontaneously surfaced in the prayer ministry process.

The following list from an article titled “Long-Term Effects of Unresolved Sexual Trauma” is a valuable and, for us, a confirming diagnostic guide I wish we had discovered long ago:1

Characteristics of Women Who Were Victims of Childhood Sexual Trauma

Recurrent and intrusive recollections, dreams, or “reliving” of experiences

Generalized anxiety, mistrust, and/or social isolation

Difficulty forming or maintaining nonexploitive intimate relationships

Sexual dysfunction (aversion, anorgasmia [inability to achieve orgasm], vaginismus [vaginal tightness that can prevent intercourse])

Chronic depression, self-blame, and poor self-esteem

Acute anxiety or depression related to symbolically important life changes or anniversaries

Dissociative features (memory problems, confusion, depersonalization)

Vague somatic complaints without objective findings

Phobic avoidance, often generalized to apparently unrelated situations

Diminished self-protection, masochistic strivings, and repeated victimization

Identity focused on a sense of “badness” and stigmatization

Contempt for women, including themselves

Tendency to fear men yet overvalue and idealize them as well

Tumultuous adolescence (early pregnancy, running away, substance abuse)

Pseudoresponsible, caretaking role applied inflexibly (“parental child”)

Passivity and unassertiveness

History of promiscuity or prostitution

Impulsive or self-injurious behavior (suicide attempts, self-mutilation, substance abuse)

Chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (emotional numbing, hyperalertness, etc.)

Inappropriate guilt, underlying resentment

Intergenerational transmission (abusing own children or marrying a man who does)

Defection from family’s religion

History of childhood learning problems

In our years of ministry we have observed all of the above characteristics in people who experienced sexual abuse as children. We have also seen that helping women to identify their hurts, understand and express their feelings, and develop ways of coping are only the beginnings of healing.

Fullness of healing is accomplished by the person of the Lord Jesus Christ as He is invited through prayer to enable forgiveness, to transform the inner man, and to do a work of renewal in the mind (Rom. 12:2). Whether diagnosis is made and healing is begun in childhood or many years later, no one has to be consigned to live in a wounded, crippled state forever. “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6).

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